WRITER’S BLOCK: Our Worst Nightmare.

“I knew it! My guts never lie!” I screamed jubilantly, holding my phone in one hand while feigning a catwalk to the desk across the office I shared with two co-workers. I saw Ada lift her face from the desktop computer before her; she scoffed in irritation when she saw me approaching.

“I don’t care how irritated you are, you know I’ve always told you that every day is for the thief and one day is for the owner; that day is today.” I said leaning forward with my scrunched nose directly before her; she slid her chair backward in retreat.

“Social distancing, please. Who is the thief and who is the owner?” she probed, obviously pissed.

“I am the owner and that makes you the thief. I have always told you that your lie about writer’s block would soon be uncovered, just take a look at this.” She snatched my phone from my outstretched hands, I saw her face redden.

“The Almighty brilliant writer, Nex Tom, said she doesn’t believe in writer’s block and it doesn’t exist. So, how come Adaora Peters, Creative Writer, Scribes and Scrolls Publishing, speaks so much of writer’s block and goes days without working because of it?” I snapped furiously.

In the past weeks, I have had to bear the responsibility of two by doing all the writing while Ada concerns herself with some other businesses. We were supposed to share the tasks between us, but Ada had complained of being “blocked”. What does that even mean?!

For some reasons I couldn’t fathom, our boss had bought her lie. I write daily and never have I not had anything to write, these people are simply bent on working my willing-horse to death and I won’t let them.

“See Simi, I am not in the mood for all these. It is none of my business that Nex doesn’t believe in writer’s block. I get blocked, I run out of ideas, I don’t always have the words no matter how hard I try. Writer’s block is real to me…” she said but I wasn’t having it.

“That means you have a psychiatric problem!” I announced the diagnosis, twirling my index finger in the air by the side of my head.

“What?!” she screamed, momentarily ignoring the office environment we were in.

“Yes, you heard right. Neurologist and writer, Alice Faherty, in her book, The Midnight Disease: The Drive to write, Writer’s Block, and the creative brain, said and I quote, ‘Literary creativity is a function of specific areas of the brain, and that block may be the result of brain activity being disrupted in those areas.’ Period!” I snapped my fingers in the air, proud of a job well done in schooling this lazy colleague of mine.

“Or, are you suffering from agraphia?” I asked sarcastically.

“Shut up! Just keep quiet, you ignorant jerk. I hate that I have to deal with you every day. If only you channeled this energy into building your investigative career, you won’t be here hustling for the minimum wage.” She snapped back.

“That’s not so smart of you and I won’t indulge you…” I retorted but was interrupted by our immediate boss, Miss Ese.

“What’s the brouhaha all about? I will never understand why two grown adults cannot coexist in the same place, do you take tutorials from the cat and rat down the road?” she angrily said, graciously approaching us in her red pumps.

“We are sorry Ma’am,” Ada and I chorused.

“Ma’am, I will like to uncover a lie we bought in this prestigious publishing firm of ours.” I spilled before my boss said another word.

“Ada has been lying to us about writer’s block. I was going through my Instagram page when I saw Nex Tom’s post; the best-selling author said she doesn’t believe in the concept of writer’s block. I went deeper in my research and a neurologist affirmed that it could only be a brain disorder which I believe Ada has not got.” I explained.

There was a moment of silence. My boss’ bespectacled eyes were fixed on me for a nanosecond and half, before she decided to lean on Ada’s desk with her arms folded across her chest.

“Wow! You never cease to amaze me, Simi,” She finally said and I muttered, “Thank you, Ma’am.”

“You see, there’s always catastrophe in the absence of knowledge, and I fear that someday this building will house one,” She continued.

“Miss Simisola Alesinloye, writer’s block is not a psychiatric problem. Although, scientists talk about a shift control from the cerebral cortex to the limbic system and many other biological jargons. However, I am posed to believe that if you had taken your time to google search writer’s block, you would have seen where Wikipedia defined it as, ‘A situation where an author is unable to produce new work or experiences difficulty in developing original ideas.’ Simi, writer’s block is simply a creative slowdown.” My boss lectured much to Ada’s pleasure.

“Writer’s block often occurs when you lack inspiration which could be hinged on a handful of factors. It could be that you are distracted by other duties or your mind is clogged with so many unrelated thoughts, hence, you are unable to think ideas through and channel your thought process towards developing the right content.” She further explained.

She knew she had my full attention, so, she proceeded, “I have also found myself blocked when I am under pressure; the pressure to produce and deliver. Take for instance, if I have a deadline to develop a content for a client’s magazine, I begin to feel pressurized especially when I start to get reminders from the client. At this point, my mind is busy working faster than my mind, before I know what’s happening, I find myself blocked. Some other people get writer’s block when their mental health is really messed up. Of course, there’s only so much you can do with an anxious or depressed mind.” Miss Ese, our boss, concluded with a shrug.

“But Ma’am, I always have something to write and I don’t think I have ever had any writer’s block experience.” I argued, genuinely interested in learning more, despite Ada’s disdainful attitude.

“Hmmm, you mean, you always feel like writing? You have never shut down your computer in anger? Never for once have you felt stuck while writing?” she probed.

“Yes Ma’am, I have but…but I…I…” I stuttered.

“You what?” Ada shot but I wasn’t perturbed.

“Ma’am, I feel like that many times. As a matter of fact, my trash bin is filled with several drafts of unfinished works. But, when I feel like that, I do quite a number of things to get me back to work. I understand that I have a job to keep, even though I get the minimum wage…” Ada snorted; Miss Ese arched a brow.

“Like I said, I know I have deadlines to meet and clients will never understand that I had a burn out or got frustrated. So, all I do is de-stress. I take a break, go on my social media pages and engage on funny posts, I watch my favorite YouTube channels, facetime my best friend…” I explained but Miss Ese cut in.

“You do all these while at work? It’s the audacity for me!” She scowled at me.

I bowed my head apologetically, “I am sorry, Ma’am.”

Miss Ese burst into laughter, “It’s okay, you get your job done and that, I think, is what matters. Go on, I’m listening.”

I nodded and smiled, “Another thing I ensure to do is to leave my work at work. I mean, I don’t take my job home except it is really demanding. This avails me the time and space to properly relax my brain, nerves and phalanges. I understand that writing is intense brainwork and demands a high energy level. So, I let myself relax at home, eat healthily and get enough sleep. The next day at work, my mind is refreshed to work.”

Miss Ese nodded in agreement, “That’s very smart of you. Now, I understand why the idea of writer’s block is alien to you. Do you know why we include related topics, stories and articles, into the file sent to you for a new job?” she asked.

“To help us get a better grasp of the client’s ideas.” Ada answered.

“Correct. But, another major reason we do so is for them to serve as writing prompts. Scribes and Scrolls is a publishing firm, we know how difficult it could be to come up with creative ideas for a writing project; we know what it means to feel blocked,” she paused her lip to ensure her words were being received.

“In that light, we made it a point of duty to give you thought-triggers for your writing. Writing prompts do a good job in guiding your cerebration and inspire you to open up to more beautiful ideas for content development. There are a million of them online, I wonder why some writers don’t use them when they feel stalled.” Miss Ese finished with her signature shrug.

“If I may add Ma’am, I think a change of environment could help in snapping out of writer’s block.” It was Ada speaking. “I realised that sometimes, all I need was to rearrange my work space, leave my home for a few days to explore. Like you earlier pointed, writer’s block is linked to mental instability, so, when I feel my mental health is declining, I detox by excusing myself from a particular place or redesigning my space to suit the mood I want to be in.” Ada intelligently added.

“I agree with you, Ada. Talking about changing of environment, I love to think that since writer’s block is a thing of the mind, a shift in the mindset could also go a long way in helping you get out of the block. If we could intentionally change the environment of our mind, by letting it concentrate on the purpose for which we need to write and by speaking to it, we could get ahead easily. It works for me.” I opined and Ada slowly nodded.

“I tell myself. ‘I’m a brilliant writer, I have written jaw-dropping masterpieces before, so I can do it again. I am a spectacular writer, my pen never runs out of ink. I once wrote an ugly first draft but today, my book is in the hands of several people. Feeling frustrated and unable to write now, doesn’t make me a terrible writer, it only means I am super intelligent and with the right ambience, I’ll bring my A-game on,’ and many more.” A round of applause from Miss Ese, my boss and Ada, my colleague, followed my words as I brought them to a close. I gave a mock bow in acknowledgement.

“Beautiful! I’m glad you now understand what writer’s block is and that we deal with it differently.” Miss Ese commented and I think her lips parted ways in a smile behind her face mask.

“Simi, I understand that you feel burdened with the work at hand, but trust me, we are not loading you with Ada’s job, there are just more clients. Truly, Ada complained of writer’s block but it wasn’t just in her complaint, it was evident in her works. I know everyone’s ability, consequently, I don’t hesitate to take the right steps in ensuring the excellent delivery of service to our clients. And of course, if your mental health is on the line, it’s only our duty to assist you in getting through it. So, I simply changed Ada’s job description and I think what she has on her hands right now is even more demanding than writing.” Miss Ese chuckled, giving Ada a wink.

“If I may ask, what’s that Ma’am?” I inquisitively enquired.

“Editing.” She answered, laughingly walking away.